My Head Hurts

Hey, what does it mean when you head feels like this inside? Time to quit your day job maybe? Time to get away from your boss for a while? Maybe time to take a chill pill and forget about things for a while? Yeah, maybe all those things, eh? Maybe.

More Saturday Metal Sculpture Action = GOOOD

Well, what can I say, in welding and metal sculpture, sometimes one is NOT enough. So I was on a roll, and I created this smaller piece for my office. I have always wanted to mix the texture of the cord, string, rope, whatever, with the strength and spirit of the steel. This is my first, very minor, attempt.

Basically, it is meant as an exercise piece, so that when I am at work and need to remind my self who I am, I can look at this and remember. Also, the mix of techniques and materials will get my creative juices going at work so I can be thinking about my next pieces. As always, I struggled with whether or not to embellish further, and whether or not to paint it. What do you think?

Saturday + Welding = GOOOOOD

Well, to the person who threw away their trampoline a few months ago: Thank you! I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it when I picked them up, but I figured there must be a sculpture in that pile of pipe somewhere. And it didn't come quickly. In fact, I almost, ALMOST, threw it all away once myself. Now I am glad I didn't.

Now the real agonizing begins. To embellish further or not? I have a tendency to want to weld this and that all over the damn thing. But I have decided to let it stay like this for a while, so I can decide if it really needs anything more. Perhaps it does, perhaps it does not. What do you think?

Meltdown

Okay, perhaps a bit melodramatic... but in case you get here first, this is one of my photo blog pics that will be posted later today. In the meantime I am using it to illustrate my feelings about going back to work tomorrow. Actually, having been on vacation for a week, I am going back to work this afternoon, just to try to reduce the pain that will be my Monday morning.

Other than all that whining, this was an awesome sunset I captured on Clearwater Beach, FL. Of course, taken with my Nikon D80. Shutter speed was 1/200, f11.0, 70-300mm at 300mm. ISO 100. And all that technical stuff courtesy of iPhoto's 'photo info' display. Because believe me, I am not the type to record all that stuff! And yes, just a very minor bit of tweaking... because I like it just fine the way it is.

I hope you like it too.

Back, and Back... Too Bad

Holy Cow, and so forth! What the heck happened to Wayne? Did he give up on redemption? No! He went on vacation. And yes, before that, he did sort of fall of the face of the earth. But he's back now. Unfortunately, that also means back to work on Monday. I HATE WORKING! Well, not quite true. I hate working for someone else.

Yes, I have every intention of becoming self employed. But that takes time, and I am not there yet. But believe me, like the little mushroom that could, I am going to make it there somehow! Sometimes it seems like I have too many ideas, and not enough action. Other days it seems like the ideas dry up and all I have is a lot of pent up energy. It's like I want to run like hell towards a better life, but I don't know what direction that is. OY!

So, I just got back from a very nice vacation with my sweetheart. We headed up into the mountains of Tennessee and the Carolinas. Wow, were we treated to some SPECTACULAR fall colors! I mean, we hit it RIGHT ON! Check back soon, and I will have some pictures posted on my photo blog. It was a most spectacular time. We spent time in Greenville, SC and in Gatlinburg, TN and in Asheville, NC and so on. Wow, what a great time. I definitely have to recommend the Best Western - Twin Islands in Gatlinburg. What a nice time we had sitting on the balcony outside our room, overlooking the river that runs right through Gatlinburg. AWESOME. More on all of this later. With pics!

T G I Freaking Friday!!!

Okay, I worked way too many hours in the last week, LIFE BALANCE be damned, and now it is finally Friday! You can tell I have TOTALLY dialed it down now, since I would have been at work 20 minutes ago otherwise. But hey, all those extra hours means I got most of my crap done. Which means, I have Friday-itis! Yup, not planning on getting a whole helluva lot done today!

But what I will do is spend hours on end daydreaming about what fun can be had this weekend. What will it be? Kayaking? Movies? Painting? Maybe some glass etching? Who knows! But one this is for sure... there will not be any WORK involved! No way! After all, I worked 13 hours last Saturday. And that is just WRONG!

Yeah, I am not the dedicated 60 hours a week type. I don't get it. I am very fortunate to get a decent wage for my 40 plus or minus hours. When I am done, I am done, and I want to go have FUN! So, that notwithstanding... I DO still have to go to work today. So, enjoy your Friday... and remember, don't let them suck too much life out of you in one day... save some for yourself, your significant other, and your family!

Autumn Calling

I can feel the crisp charge of Autumn energy beginning to course through my soul. This is a time of year that so resonates for me, that to consider it is almost to cry... Sublime, yes that is what it is... sublime.

But alas, I am living in a part of the country where the effects, the impact, the joy of Autumn is muted and dulled. How so? Heat, humidity. Yes, living in Florida is not the ideal way to experience Autumn.

I long for northern climes. I long for waking to crisp, sometimes frosty mornings that call for blue jeans and jackets. To feel winter's welcoming breeze on my face. To shuffle my feet through gently laid drifts of leaves blazing with the colors of Autumn.

Halloween comes soon, and memories of trick or treating in the cool fall air play through my mind, plucking at heart strings. And so I long for northern climes. I long to live in a place where snow can happen in winter, if not lots, at least a maybe. I long to wake on weekend mornings and lounge in bed, watching the leaves turn golden outside. Then to head outside covered in warm layers and feel that crisp air on my face, in my lungs, in my soul.

In the meantime, this fall, this winter, I will enjoy every smidgen of fall that comes my way. And I will enjoy the moments I have, while I am having them, and save the longing for the quiet moments.

Divinely Pointless

It occurs to me to wonder if parental adults, as opposed to childless adults, ponder the purpose of life question as much as childless adults. This is because I wonder if perhaps the purpose of life is to 'beget' life yet again. Is the reason we are here simply to make more of us? Simply to perpetuate ourselves?

Seemingly, to have children would almost seem like enough purpose in life, all of itself. What more accomplishment could one ask for, than to bring children into the world? And that being said, what is the purpose of childless adults? I mean, once we are adults, and no longer children ourselves, we are no longer the ends to the means of our parents' purpose, but now adrift with our own purpose. Unless of course, we do not have children.

IF, and I really mean IF the purpose of life is to have children, and one has come to that point in life where they will not be having children, then what is their part in the play that is life, on the stage that is the world around us, our planet? In those terms, are we not simply extras, supporting cast, bit players? Or can we carve out a more meaningful part in our lives? Hmmm, choices, choices... custodian to the child-bearers, or maintenance man to the baby set?

Or perhaps a different role altogether... A role not filled by doting parents, failing parents, drunk and worthless parents? Perhaps there is yet purpose of a noble sort reserved, in fact, for those unencumbered by duty to child. What of you, childless or child rearing? What is the purpose of life? What is the meaning of life? Do YOU have meaning in your life? Do you know YOUR purpose?

Stop Signs! or Stop Talking?

Someone I know and like at work seems to have stopped talking to me. I mean, there are the casual hello's, but the lively, happy to see you feeling is gone. I have noticed this over the last week or so. And it pains me. This was someone who I thought of as being a really good person, the kind of person you WANT as a friend, the kind of person that you can enjoy hanging out with. So I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong. What did I say, or not say, or do, or not do, to make them feel this way about me? * Notice the egocentric perspective of this thinking. It all revolves around ME. *

So as I thought more about this person this morning, and their expression when I see them lately, it FINALLY occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, it has NOTHING to do with me. Perhaps this person, who I like so much, and respect so much, is having some other sort of difficulty in their life! What if, in fact, what they need right now is some support? Because let me tell you, that is not how I was thinking. Being self-centered as I am, I was thinking more like "Hey, whatever, if you don't want to be friends, that is alright with me, I don't NEED friends." So I guess you might call it a paradigm shift this morning. I need to find this person today and ask them if they are all right, if there is anything I can do for them! After all, when a person brings all that good feeling into your day for weeks and months, it is your duty to try to return the favor when they are feeling down!

Now, on to STOP SIGNS... WHY DO WE STOP??? I mean, when we can obviously see that there are no other cars around, as is the case in quiet neighborhoods far from main roads, why do we stop for NOTHING? In this petroleum ransomed world we live in, when will we start each thinking individually about the right and wrong of each action we take? I figure every time I stop at a stop sign when there is nobody else around, I waste gasoline, I waste brake pad lining, I waste time, and so on and so on. So... WHY DO WE STOP??? Yes, I know it is 'the law', but... I ask you... WHY DO WE STOP???

Misery or Happiness

A question I ponder quite often of late. Are we, some of us, miserable simply because we CHOOSE to be miserable? Perhaps that is the case. For myself, I have become suspicious of this possibility. So I am on notice, to watch for the signs... am I practicing 'miserability'? Am I producing gloom and despair for my own personal consumption? If so, how do I stop myself? Am I a freaking Jekyll and Hyde???

In the meantime, I have to go prepare for my next dose of dualism... forgive me if I rush off.

Redemption

I often debate with myself whether I am on the road to redemption, or spiraling down into hell on the back of a donkey called Insane. In a moment of lucidity, I have named this blog, optimistically, for my redemption. Of course, I may wake up tomorrow and find I have created another blog named, pessimistically, for my evaporation.

How very melodramatic, don't you think? Well, then, you have hit the nail on the head. This shall be the outlet of all my dramatic creativity.

How DOES it feel to be fading into that not-so-quiet repose of insanity? What is it like to look down the road ahead and see the giant "CRAZY-VILLE" sign beckoning? Perhaps it feels just like I feel these days! Perhaps that ringing sound, or more like sensation, IS what it feels like to be going insane...

And then, perhaps it is my neighbors cranky old air conditioning unit, growling away in the darkness outside my window. It seems to sing a sad song over and over and over... kill me now, it sings, put me out of my misery, kill me now, kill me now, put me out of my misery. OF COURSE an a/c unit cannot SING! I just said it SEEMS to sing. See there, now you are trying to make out like I AM crazy! And I never said THAT... Or did I? Hmmmm...