A Time For Change

The holiday season, for me, is waning quickly. New Year's Eve is around the corner, and 2014 right behind it. Though not generally a 'resolutions person', I actually started thinking about changes a few weeks ago. Not your typical changes, but deeper changes. No, that doesn't mean I think I'm perfect, but I don't make resolutions about weight or eating habits. Those are habits I just work on.

The changes, the resolutions, I'm talking about might be more like revelations and revolutions.

I am neither a politician, statesman, nor a billionaire. I do not move mountains. Neither do I cause small hummocks to tremble. However, there are things to be said. I want to be a part of the change that I see needed in the world. If only a small part, that is better to me than to be a part of the problem or a part of the mindless detritus and flotsam getting in the way.

Hidden among the folds of our shiny golden robes are the hungry and neglected. I can't help by wonder why. The short answers are Greed and Apathy of course, but what about the roots? What insecurities and what traumas have created the Greed and the Apathy? And of course, those are not the only two answers to "Why?" but they are two big ones.

We have people, our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews, SONS and DAUGHTERS living on the streets... homeless. How can that be... in one of the most prosperous countries on earth? There is a quote, by Einstein I think, that speaks of a fear that our technology has exceeded our humanity. I will tell you this, long before our technology exceeded our humanity, our prosperity and love of 'things' exceeded our humanity. Our CONSUMERISM exceeded our humanity.

What happened to us?

Redemption Revisited

Ah-HAH! Wayne has bought himself a house. Never mind that, he's bought himself a nice big shop! Yes, and that means ART! And that means WELDING and WOOD WORKING! And that all means...

ANOTHER SHOT AT REDEMPTION!

I am not sure how to explain the connection I feel exists between the two... perhaps it is that I feel my one great satisfaction with myself comes of the expression of my soul-ism through the working of steel and wood. Art becomes me. I hope.

No, I don't hope, I KNOW this to be true. Art becomes me. And so I must become art.

Oh, now doesn't that just sound clever as all hell!

Hmm... I hope I can get started on the redeeming pretty quick, because there is plenty of feeling like shit about myself going on. Yeah, when I don't know how else to feel, I can always feel like shit about myself. Call it my comfort zone.

No, I don't mind talking to you about it, because I know you don't give a shit. Or, and this being more significant... I know you are NOT THERE!

And I can't TYPE WORTH SHIT TONIGHT so to hell with it all.

Redemption is for the Rich

And I'm not one of them. Hell, I'm lucky to be in the middles of the socio-economic strata... but I'm not rich, and I can't afford redemption. So I will have to settle for existing, and trying to learn to see the simplicity in any given moment.

What a pain in the ass. Hahahahahahaha

Oh look, I think I am going to be late to work today. But then, when you are staring down a 50+hour work week, does being a few minutes late really matter? Personally, I think not.

No, it's not the longest work week in the county, but it ain't no 40 hours plus OT. Hell, I can't type worth a damn this morning. So see ya later.

Redemption

I often debate with myself whether I am on the road to redemption, or spiraling down into hell on the back of a donkey called Insane. In a moment of lucidity, I have named this blog, optimistically, for my redemption. Of course, I may wake up tomorrow and find I have created another blog named, pessimistically, for my evaporation.

How very melodramatic, don't you think? Well, then, you have hit the nail on the head. This shall be the outlet of all my dramatic creativity.

How DOES it feel to be fading into that not-so-quiet repose of insanity? What is it like to look down the road ahead and see the giant "CRAZY-VILLE" sign beckoning? Perhaps it feels just like I feel these days! Perhaps that ringing sound, or more like sensation, IS what it feels like to be going insane...

And then, perhaps it is my neighbors cranky old air conditioning unit, growling away in the darkness outside my window. It seems to sing a sad song over and over and over... kill me now, it sings, put me out of my misery, kill me now, kill me now, put me out of my misery. OF COURSE an a/c unit cannot SING! I just said it SEEMS to sing. See there, now you are trying to make out like I AM crazy! And I never said THAT... Or did I? Hmmmm...